Focus. That’s a word I’ve been hearing a lot from God lately. However, I didn’t understand what He meant at first. When He was saying it, I thought He wanted me to focus in on making the “right” choices. This was ALL I was doing, so it didn’t really make sense to me why He’d ask me to do that.
The past year of my life has been completely consumed with the fear that I might make a decision that would mess up God’s plan for me. I was so certain of my future when I graduated high school, and two months into college, my plan crumbled to its very foundations.
Everything I thought my future would consist of changed. I wasn’t secure in my future anymore, and the fact that my security was coming from the idea of my future rather than from God should’ve been a sign to me that my plan was destined to crumble in the first place. I didn’t realize that at the time, however. So, when my plan did crumble, it blind sided me because I was so convinced that my plan was God’s plan. Just because our idea of our future or our destiny is “Godly” doesn’t always mean it’s from God. I made a plan for myself, and I wanted God to make it his. Instead, I should’ve let God make the plan and then make his my own.
In learning this lesson, I have now heard more clearly God’s plan for my life. I have become desperate to live in the center of what he has for me, but I’ve been handling it all wrong. I thought God would want me to focus on every little decision I made to make sure I didn’t mess up anything he had for me. However, to quote Lisa Bevere, “If you think you’ve blown God’s plan for your life, rest in this. My beautiful friend, you are not that powerful.” Nothing I do could mess up God’s plan for me. His will will be done no matter how many mistakes I make.
So, what do we focus on if not making the right decisions? – Him. I overcomplicate things by nature, and so this simple truth can be hard for me. It finally clicked for me tonight when I was listening to the song “Heart of God” by Hillsong Young and Free. A song I’ve heard and sung a million times by now. I wasn’t even thinking about any of the stuff I’ve written about thus far when I was listening to it, but there is a line in the song that says, “Your heart, oh God, is all I want.” In the middle of worship, as I was singing that line, it’s as if He painted for me a picture of a finish line I was striving towards. He was standing at the end of the race waiting for me.
I don’t have to stress about making every decision right because He has already gone before me and made the way. All I have to do is chase after Him, and if I’m chasing after Him, I’ll run along the right path. However, in order to chase Him, I have to let Him be in front and lead.
“Yet I am always with You; You hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your council, and afterward You will take me into glory. Whom have I in Heaven but You? And earth had nothing I desire besides You.” Psalm 73:23-25
“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. – Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:5,10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6xqI_Rq5nw
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