Honest Moments
We are in the middle of 21 Days of Prayer at Church of the Highlands. I found it very ironically fitting that this morning Pastor Jamil would speak on wrestling with God at prayer, & yesterday during prayer I had one of the most raw wrestle with God moments I’ve ever had. (Read Genesis 32:22-32)
This Women of God study that I am currently doing has honestly been one big wrestle with God. Although the Holy Spirit has revealed many amazing truths to me about women during this study, there are still things that God has yet to reveal.
A scripture that I’ve been burdened by is 1 Timothy 2:11-15 “11 Women should learn quietly and submissively. 12 I do not let women teach men or have authority over them. Let them listen quietly. 13 For God made Adam first, and afterward he made Eve. 14 And it was not Adam who was deceived by Satan. The woman was deceived, and sin was the result. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing, assuming they continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty.”
This was the one that brought me to wrestle. to tears. to screaming. to anger. to frustration. to heaviness.
In my religion courses, we studied these verses & scholars teach that 11-12 was more about the time period than a general rule. Women weren’t allowed to be educated, so this made them easy prey for the false teachers Paul warns about.
Therefore, they shouldn’t be allowed to teach because they may have been falsely informed. They would also interrupt the lectures with uneducated questions, which in that time was basically like throwing tomatoes at the speaker. I also agree that God created men to be leaders & the head of the household. These things I believe and have no issue with (especially when Paul addressed a female deacon named, Phoebe, in a letter, but that’s for later) No, it's 14-15 that brought me to wrestle.
Adam was standing right next to Eve when she was deceived. If men are called to lead us, why didn’t he stop her? Why didn’t he remind her of the truth? Why did he let them walk over to the tree to begin with? Why wasn’t he leading better? Why didn’t he protect her? Why did he eat the fruit too?! Why does she take all the blame?!
Is that really all we’re good for?! Bearing children? And what about all the mothers who crave a child but are left empty handed?
If that’s not your heart, God, why did you allow this to be written?! “All scripture is God breathed” so explain yourself!
I felt my hip break. Like Jacob, I felt wounded from wrestling.
Still.
Psalm 46:10 - Be still & know that I am God.
I suddenly fell still. I felt peace. And then I remembered what they say is the most important rule of reading scripture: always read the entire thing, never just a few verses or you might miss it.
Today I was studying the next chapter in 1 Timothy and found something that felt like God’s personal gift to me. Jacob didn’t release from wrestling until he received a blessing.
The chapter is discussing deacons and church leadership.
1 Timothy 3:11 “In the same way, their wives[e] must be respected and must not slander others. They must exercise self-control and be faithful in everything they do.” That [e] says that the word here in the original Greek could have been translated as wives or women. So the scripture could have read: In the same way as the male deacons, the women deacons must be …
& Phoebe is our proof.
Romans 16:1-2 “I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a deacon in the church in Cenchrea. Welcome her in the Lord as one who is worthy of honor among God’s people. Help her in whatever she needs, for she has been helpful to many, and especially to me.”
Just in case, I looked up what a deacon meant during that time: to serve as an overseer or elder or church leader.
I know this story isn't a very pretty one, but it's honest. I tell it because I want you to grasp hold of this truth. We cannot point to one section of scripture taken out of the whole to learn what God thinks about anything, including women.
People want to say scripture is self contradictory, but it’s really not. It may seem that way piece to piece, but not whole. I also want you to grab hold of the truth that it is okay to wrestle with God. He knows that we're human. He knows we have questions, & He wants us to come to Him for the answers.
The bottom line is that God didn’t think the world would be good without women, he’s been using us since the beginning, & He will use us until the end.
Don’t be afraid to wrestle, Woman of God. You’re called to more than you know, & God has a blessing waiting for you.
Yorumlar